I listened to Simon Sinek as he was talking about how it would be if we started catching people doing things RIGHT instead of catching them doing things wrong. The clip caught my attention because he says that anyone who has ever been in a leadership position is guilty of forming a narrative, often negative, about someone. I happen to work for one leader whose view of me worries me at times. His perception of me is that of an individual with rough edges. It is often repeatedly thrown around on a lighter note during conversations that it started to get to me as it’s always a trigger that prompts me to automatically go on defense mode. In leadership, Simon says that it’s all too common to fall into the trap of forming negative perceptions about our colleagues or people who work for us. I found myself on the receiving end of such perceptions, as one leader consistently labels me as someone with “rough edges.” Initially, I brushed off as light banter, but these remarks began to chip away at my confidence, bit by bit with every conversation, leaving me questioning my worth and impact. I noted that what that has done to me over time makes me question myself and wonder if how he views me is related and results in how I am compensated as a consultant and shit is so messy to unpack. It’s ironic, isn’t it? Here I am, dedicated to helping professionals navigate toxic work spaces, yet struggling to navigate the same muddy waters myself. I wish feedback sessions with this leader stopped being dreaded encounters, because each word reinforces the notion that I fall short, that I am small and I am not enough. But this post isn’t a plea for sympathy. It’s a reminder for those professionals who, like me, find themselves shrinking in the shadows of their leaders’ perceptions. I want you to know that your worth isn’t defined by their words. Their perception of you doesn’t have to be your reality. Simon Sinek’s words echo in my mind: leaders need to check each other. It’s a call to action, a reminder that the responsibility of fostering a positive work space rests on the shoulders of all leaders. We must interrupt the narrative of negativity, replacing it with one of encouragement and recognition. As I reflect on my own experiences, I find myself thinking: What about the positives? Amidst the critiques, what do I bring to the table? It’s a shift in perspective, a journey toward embracing my strengths rather than dwelling on perceived weaknesses. But positive reinforcement isn’t just about bolstering individual confidence; it’s about preserving the psychological trust within the workplace. Each negative comment chips away at that trust, eroding the foundation of collaboration and growth. So, to my fellow leaders, I request you: be present enough to recognize the impact of your words. Understand that even the slightest critique can leave lasting scars. And to my fellow professionals, be courageous enough to speak up, to confront those who undermine your worth. Yes, these conversations may be difficult. Yes, they may be met with defensiveness, no apology or gaslight with “Oh I will stop saying anything to you” Or “I’ll be walking on eggshells.” But they are necessary steps toward fostering a culture of respect and understanding. In the end, it’s not just about what’s said; it’s about how it’s received. Our world and work experiences shape our perceptions, but it’s within our power to reshape them, to build a workplace where positivity thrives and individuals are valued for their contributions, not diminished by their flaws. I believe it’s possible to break free from the mold of negativity and catch each other doing things right. Remember, Your Well-Being Matters.
