April 2024

What do you savor the most?

This is a question that often catches most of us off guard, prompting a moment of introspection amidst the chaos of daily life. Next week, in our weekly session at Professionals Like Us, we will be sharing about the joys of savoring—the simple act of fully immersing ourselves in the present moment and relishing life’s little pleasures. You might be surprised to learn that many people struggle to answer this question. And research suggests that women tend to report greater savoring capability compared to men. But regardless of gender, cultivating a practice of savoring can enrich our lives in profound ways. For me, savoring is about cherishing the moments I spend with my family, friends and fellow professionals at different locations across Africa, with Kenya, especially the coastal area being a favorite. I’ve realized that it’s the conversations shared over meals, the laughter by the pool, and the quiet moments watching the sunset by a fire-pit, the random dancing where one of us can’t stop flexing his two left feet. It’s also about slowing down in the morning to enjoy the rich taste of a good cup of coffee for the junkies like us while soaking in the ocean or at times river view or engaging in random conversations. One thing I noticed is that I mostly travel with the same awesome individuals in my life and I recall the last trip we stayed at Galana Crocodile Camp and we met this friendly guy who shared how he talks to the crocodiles and even names crocodiles after guests who make it to his spot. Well, I guess there’s a crocodile named Shi and it’s such moments where we don’t even bother to look at our phones because we are present to learn more about some things and enjoy such experiences. Savoring offers us a unique opportunity to step away from the constant pursuit of accomplishments and simply enjoy the journey. After all, what’s the point of accumulating accomplishments if we can’t take the time to savor the fruits of our labor along the way? But savoring isn’t just about indulging in pleasurable experiences—it’s also a practice and a science. By intentionally savoring the present moment, we immerse ourselves in the delightful happenings of life and cultivate a deeper appreciation for the here and now. So, here’s my challenge to you 👉Take a moment to make a list of everything you savor. Reflect on the quiet moments in your life that you used to enjoy before the busyness of life took over. And if you find this challenge daunting, know that you’re not alone—I’m here to help you rediscover the joy of savoring. As I write this, 10 of us are looking forward to August when we get to take a leave from work and busy schedules and go on a 10-day road trip doing life together and rediscovering the joy of savoring as professionals.

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Understanding the Impact of Trauma

In the workplace, the dynamics can sometimes resemble a battlefield where emotional wounds are as real as physical ones. For those who have experienced trauma as a result of a toxic work space, whether overt or subtle, the office can trigger complex responses rooted deep within our nervous system. After trauma, the world is experienced with a different nervous system that has an altered perception of risk and safety. This altered perception fundamentally affects how we navigate our professional environments. The autonomic nervous system governs our physiological responses, particularly in times of stress or danger. It operates on three main states: social engagement, fight or flight, and freeze or collapse. The level of safety perceived determines which state is activated. When we feel threatened in the workplace, we instinctively turn to the first level: social engagement. We seek help, support, and comfort from our colleagues or superiors. However, if these resources are not available, or if the danger persists, our bodies revert to more primitive survival instincts. We may find ourselves in a state of fight or flight, where we either confront the issue head-on or seek escape to a safer space. And if these options fail, if we feel trapped or overwhelmed, our bodies may resort to the last line of defense: freeze or collapse, conserving energy to survive the ordeal. Understanding these physiological responses is crucial for recognizing and addressing toxic work spaces. Signs of distress may manifest differently in each individual: from heightened anxiety and hypervigilance to emotional numbness and disengagement.  To any professional navigating a toxic work space, know that you are not alone. Recognizing the impact of trauma on your experience is the first step towards reclaiming your sense of safety and agency. Seek support from trusted colleagues, mentors, or mental health professionals. Engage in self-care practices that prioritize your well-being, whether it’s setting boundaries, practicing mindfulness, or seeking therapy. In a world where the lines between personal and professional life are increasingly blurred, addressing trauma in the workplace is vital. By understanding the impact it has on our nervous system and behavior, we can work towards creating work spaces that nurtures healing and growth. If you find yourself in a toxic work space, remember that change is possible. Reach out to us for support, or through external resources. 

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How Firm Are Your Boundaries At Work?

In a professional life, boundaries play a pivotal role in safeguarding our mental and emotional well-being. Yet, in toxic work spaces, these boundaries are often tested and breached, leaving professionals struggling with uncertainty and discomfort.  In one of our sessions at Professionals Like Us, we dived deep into real-life scenarios to unpack the complexities of how to navigate it when our boundaries are crossed in the workplace and how different professionals respond when their boundaries are crossed: Emma is a dedicated executive dealing with the relentless demands of upper management. Initially, Emma found herself acquiescing to every demand, fueled by a fear of job insecurity. However, as her workload reached a breaking point, Emma realized the imperative of asserting her boundaries. Through introspection and self-advocacy, Emma decided to take her power back and reclaim control over her time and priorities. By openly communicating her capacity and negotiating realistic deadlines, Emma not only alleviated the burden of overwork but also paved the way for a healthier work-life balance. The key insight here is that if we recognize and communicate our boundaries it is essential for preserving our sanity and reclaiming agency in the face of overwhelming demands. Mark is a professional who unfortunately found himself  as the main character of the office rumors. Mark was a victim of whispers of gossip that threatened to undermine his credibility and morale, but Mark confronted the issue head-on. Rather than allowing that to affect his reputation and work, Mark leveraged assertive communication and sought support from HR to address the root of the problem. It is through intentional resolve and boundary reinforcement, that Mark not only mitigated the impact of gossip but also reaffirmed his professional standing within the organization. The key insight here is that confronting boundary violations requires courage and resilience, but it is essential for preserving our dignity and professional integrity. Sarah thrives within a team culture steeped in mutual respect and boundary awareness. In this healthy work space, regular check-ins, open dialogue, and clear expectations serve as pillars of support, empowering professionals to voice their concerns and uphold their boundaries without fear of retribution. Through collective efforts and a shared commitment to fostering a culture of respect, Sarah’s team thrives and everyone feels seen and heard. The key insight here is that by cultivating a culture of boundary awareness, we build trust, collaboration, and collective well-being within teams and organizations. Here’s a Food for Thought: As we reflect on these case studies, let us think about the following: How can we cultivate a workplace culture that prioritizes boundary awareness and mutual respect? What steps can individuals and organizations take to empower professionals to assert their boundaries effectively? In what ways can we support colleagues who may be struggling to navigate boundary crossings in toxic work spaces? We believe that if leaders modeled open dialogue, advocating for change, and nurturing a collective commitment to boundary awareness, they can pave the way for healthier, more fulfilling work spaces where professionals thrive.

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We have a dream…

Our dream is to get Professionals Like Us a Hub which will serve as our onsite third place near the blue waters – ideally by the sea – where we can host professionals for mindfulness practices, retreats, or even blue mind therapy and toxic work spaces training center. We believe it would have such value to professionals who are looking to experience calmness, deep rest, community and a space they can come learn about how to manage and navigate the workplace. At Toxic Work Spaces, we understand the complexities of navigating toxic work spaces. Yet, amidst the toxic experiences, we discovered that nearly all habits that lead us to CALM and REST exist in one place: The analog or offline world. In our 1K mission to train 1000 professionals how to navigate the workplace, learning the art of calmness and rest is our priority. It’s in the analog world that we find solace. When was the last time your mind truly unwound amidst the digital noise? The never ending notifications, the endless scroll of timelines – they pull us deeper into a rabbit hole of restlessness. Yet, when we allow ourselves to give a try to the analog world, a shift occurs. Our vision extends beyond mere escapism; it embodies a paradigm shift in how we approach rest, calmness and productivity. By investing in the analog world, we’re not just seeking refuge – we’re cultivating a fertile ground for productivity and creativity. We’ve imagined hosting professionals for mindfulness retreats where the gentle waves of the sea serves as a backdrop to introspection. We’ve also pictured professionals coming together to share their workplace or life experiences, to find solace in community, and to experience the beauty of calmness and rest in our analog third place. We would like all professionals to embrace the analog world, and view this not merely as an escape from the digital world – but as a way to reclaim our humanity. It’s amidst the simplicity of such experiences that we rediscover the essence of who we are – untethered, unplugged, unburdened, and infinitely resilient.    

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What changes would you like to see in your life as a professional?

Professionals often find themselves navigating through various challenges, including toxic work spaces. At Toxic Work Spaces, we train professionals how to navigate the workplace, especially toxic work spaces.  Today, we pose a question that cuts to the core of professional growth: “What changes would you like to see in your life as a professional?” This question is not just a casual inquiry; it’s a strategic approach to understanding the evolving needs of professionals in different stages of their careers. At times, we might be quick to offer solutions without fully understanding the unique challenges and aspirations of professionals. By asking the question, “What changes would you like to see in your life as a professional?” We aim to break through this barrier and open a dialogue that dives deeper into the specific needs of individuals at various stages of their professional journeys. Understanding these aspirations allows us to tailor our training, guidance, and support to align with the real needs of professionals, ensuring that our services make a meaningful impact on their careers. We believe that by actively listening to the voices of professionals, we can collectively pave the way for a more fulfilling and successful professional future. For us, it’s crucial to recognize that professional growth is not a one-size-fits-all approach. Each individual’s career trajectory is unique, shaped by personal ambitions, challenges, and experiences and by acknowledging and embracing this diversity, we can create a more inclusive and supportive work space for professionals to thrive. The question we pose today is not just about introspection; it’s about sparking a conversation that inspires growth, innovation, and collaboration. We invite professionals from all walks of life to share their thoughts, aspirations, and challenges. Remember, your insights are invaluable in shaping the future of work and empowering individuals to reach their full potential.

What changes would you like to see in your life as a professional? Read More »

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