Are You Standing In Your Own Way?

professionals, toxicworkspaces, work /

Here’s the truth about me. As the founder of Toxic Work Spaces, sometimes I get in my own way and chances are, as a professional, you also have or do that too.  I’ve come to realize that there are certain areas of my life that seem to follow a frustrating pattern—things just don’t work well in those spaces. These are my blindspots. We all have them, whether in work situations, relationships, finances, or even our health. When you take a deep dive into these areas, you often find common scenarios where you replay almost identical situations but with different people. It’s as if life is trying to teach you a lesson you’ve yet to learn. In my case, my blindspots revolved around how I handled toxic clients. After much reflection, I discovered that this issue stemmed from my deep-seated desire to be perceived as a nice, affordable, and understanding person. What this led to, however, was a cycle of frustration. My craft—strategic communications advising—was improving daily, but my finances remained stagnant. I wasn’t progressing because I was too focused on pleasing others and too afraid to stand up for my worth. I wasn’t seeing my blindspots clearly because I was gaslighting myself, convincing myself that everything was fine when it wasn’t. Staying stuck in that same situation for years created a deep sense of unhappiness and dissatisfaction in my work. Can you relate to this experience? If you can, it’s okay to take a step back and take a serious look at yourself in the mirror. We can’t see our own blindspots until we have a mirror to reflect them. You might struggle on your own, but the best thing you can do is work with an expert, or a leadership coach who will understand you and your unique human operating system. Sometimes, toxic work environments mess with our operating systems, corrupting them and distancing us from what we truly want—or worse, preventing us from even dreaming of what we want. As the founder of Toxic Work Spaces, I’ve developed a unique model that acts like a debugging process for your toxic work space experience. It’s designed to clean up the areas of your beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors that are holding you back in your professional life. It’s a challenging process, but it’s also an enlightening one, helping you to unpack your experiences and understand how the toxic environment you’ve been in has affected you and kept you stuck. There’s only so much I can do with a professional who has been through a toxic work space. Often, I refer them to a coach because despite knowing what they need to do, they just can’t seem to do it. My goal is to help professionals move beyond talking about their problems to seeing things in a new light and shifting their focus toward moving forward and healing. This journey is not easy—many people resist change until their suffering becomes unbearable. My hope for you is that you don’t wait that long. Take the steps now to break through your blindspots, reclaim your sense of self, and start moving toward the life and career you deserve. If any of this resonates with you, I encourage you to reach out and learn more about how we can support you on your journey to healing and growth.

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How Our Advisory Sessions Will Help YOU

professionals, toxicworkplace, toxicworkspaces, work /

Have you ever felt that your workplace is eroding your sense of safety, trust, and self-worth? At Toxic Work Spaces, we understand how damaging these work spaces can be and are here to help you navigate and thrive through our expert advisory sessions. Our sessions are based on ideas developed by Shi Kang’ethe, the founder and advisor, here at Toxic Work Spaces. They stem from personal experience, extensive research, and years of working with survivors of toxic work spaces. From experience, a toxic work space undermines the following basic needs: Safety Trust Control Value Closeness When these basic needs are met, we have a psychological cushion that helps us cope with stress and other challenges. However, after leaving a toxic work space, that cushion feels like it’s gone, leaving you overwhelmed and resorting to unhealthy coping mechanisms. Has a toxic work space changed how you view safety, trust, your sense of self-worth, or made you feel as if you aren’t in control? The premise of our advisory services is that a toxic work space can disrupt you when it changes your belief in these basic needs. Please note: Our sessions are designed to help you cope with your present life if you are in a toxic work space or after leaving one. We do not ask you to think about the experiences or delve into deep details. However, some of the sessions may trigger powerful and unpleasant memories and can leave you feeling overwhelmed. If you are struggling with the impact of a toxic work space and need support to regain your psychological cushion, our advisory services are here to help. Contact us today to learn more about our sessions or book a discovery session to see if our services are right for you.

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What you can expect from our advisory sessions

professionals, toxicworkplace, toxicworkspaces, wellbeing, work /

The modern workplace seems to be fast-paced and it is also often unforgiving. As a professional, finding oneself in a toxic work space can be overwhelming and detrimental to both personal and professional well-being. At Toxic Work Spaces, we understand the unique challenges you face and as a result of that, we help professionals make sense of their workplace experiences and train those in toxic work spaces how they can navigate and thrive. Advisory sessions here at Toxic Work Spaces are designed to provide you with the support and guidance you need to overcome specific challenges and develop a clear plan of action. Whether you’re grappling with the decision to leave a toxic job or seeking strategies to cope and excel in your current role, our sessions are tailored to meet your needs. We ask professionals in a toxic work space to imagine having a dedicated, expert facilitator who guides you through a structured process, helping you identify your core issues, set realistic goals, and create actionable plans. A facilitated session by our founder will result in timely actions, clarity, responsibility, and accountability of delivery for a successful outcome. You will participate in a series of 8 sessions, each one diving deep into different aspects of toxic work space dynamics. These sessions will provide you with the opportunity to: Clarify the issues you face Turn your experiences into meaningful action Gain direction and focus Achieve a successful and fulfilling professional outcome We promise you that our comprehensive approach ensures that you leave each session with a clear understanding of your next steps and the confidence to execute them. If you are currently struggling with the challenges of a toxic work space and need support to find a solution and develop a plan of action, our advisory sessions can make a significant difference. Don’t hesitate to contact us to learn more about how our services can help you. If you are also unsure about your current situation and whether our advisory services are right for you? Book a discovery session with us today and let us help you determine if we are the right service to elevate you to the next professional level.

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How we help professionals make sense of their toxic work space experience

mental health, professionals, toxicworkspaces, wellbeing /

When a person endures a toxic work space, the experience can have a ripple effect on their mental and physical health throughout their professional lives. No matter when it occurred, the importance of making sense of the experience cannot be overstated. Yet, despite the serious consequences of a toxic work space, people often have an understandable tendency to want to block out or gloss over painful memories. Unfortunately, their efforts to bury their experience can sometimes increase the severity of their symptoms. Here at toxic work spaces, making sense of your toxic work space experience often involves taking a deep dive into one’s own story or experience. This process begins with a person acknowledging that they experienced a toxic work space. They can then start to make sense of and feel the full pain of their experience. We recommend working with one of our counsellors through this process as it can be extremely helpful, especially when the toxicity we have experienced were severe, and/or intense emotions from the past are aroused in the present. As a person moves through the steps of facing toxicity, here are the different sessions we recommend a professional to be a part of to help them create a coherent narrative and have feelings for themselves: Reflection Session. While it may feel scary, the first step to making sense of your story is reflecting on events that happened to you. This process can stir you up, but it can also help you connect the dots of your experience. Unpacking your past session as your mind may feel flooded or you might draw a blank. You may feel overwhelmed with emotion or disassociated from feeling. In this session, you’ll get to learn that any reaction you have is okay. While toxic work spaces can seem like a complex and daunting problem with no quick-fix, there are strategies for you to resolve old wounds and free yourself of much of the pain of your past, so it no longer has such a stronghold on you in the present. Facing toxic work spaces is a brave act, but when a person works to make sense of and feel the full pain of their experience, true healing can begin.  

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Why Do Some Of Us Tolerate Toxic Bosses?

Leadership, professionals, toxicworkspaces, work /

At Toxic Work Spaces, we are dedicated to training and guiding professionals with the tools and insights needed to navigate the workplace, particularly when it comes to dealing with toxic leaders. When we talk about toxic leadership or toxic bosses, we must recognize it as both morally wrong and psychologically dysfunctional. Yet, despite these clear negatives, the allure of toxic leaders remains a complicated phenomenon. Most of us claim we can’t stand toxic bosses. We acknowledge their harmful impact on both individuals and organizations. However, we frequently find ourselves following—or at least tolerating—them for surprisingly long periods. They occupy significant roles in our lives: they are our employers, our CEOs, our politicians, our clergy, and our teachers. This raises an important question: why do we so often end up under their influence? One reason for this paradox lies in the complex nature of power and charisma. Toxic bosses often possess a magnetic charm and confidence that can be both captivating and convincing. They project an image of strength and decisiveness, which can be particularly appealing in times of uncertainty or crisis. Their assertiveness can be mistaken for competence, leading us to place our trust in them despite their destructive tendencies. Moreover, toxic bosses can skillfully exploit our fears and insecurities. By positioning themselves as the sole solution to our problems, they create a dependency that makes it difficult for us to break free. This manipulation is a key component of their psychological dysfunction, as it undermines our autonomy and fosters an unhealthy attachment. Interestingly, when toxic bosses don’t emerge on their own, we often seek them out. This happens because of a psychological phenomenon known as “authoritarian submission,” where individuals are drawn to leaders or bosses who promise order and stability, even at the cost of ethical principles and personal well-being. In our quest for certainty and direction, we may overlook or rationalize the toxic behaviors of those in power. On occasion, we even contribute to the creation of toxic bosses by pushing good bosses over the toxic line. High-pressure environments, unrealistic expectations, and a lack of support can transform even the most well-intentioned leaders into toxic ones. This underscores the importance of a healthy organizational culture that promotes ethical behavior and psychological well-being. At Toxic Work Spaces, we believe that understanding the allure of toxic bosses is the first step toward resisting their influence. By recognizing the psychological mechanisms at play and fostering a culture of ethical leadership, we can address the impact of toxic bosses and create healthier, more productive workplaces. We invite you to check out different ways we work with professionals as through our training and guidance, we aim to empower professionals to navigate toxic workplaces effectively and to cultivate work spaces where positive leadership thrives. Let’s work together to break the cycle of toxic bosses and build a better future for all.

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Are You Consciously Present?

mental health, professionals, toxicworkspaces, work /

As a professional, especially one in a toxic work space, it’s easy to get swept away by the experiences in that work space. But what if we told you there was a way to find calm and clarity amidst the chaos? The answer lies in being consciously present. Conscious presence is bringing all of your energy into the moment. We look at it as the art of bringing all your energy and attention into the present moment. It’s about focusing on what is right in front of you, right now. Think about your breath – feel the inhale, the exhale. Tune into your heartbeat as it circulates blood through your body. It’s about recognizing yourself as a temporary physical existence in a vast, limitless Universe. It’s possible to connect with your soul’s energy, rise above the moment, and slip into timelessness. When you are consciously present, you transcend your self-identity and enter a state of being that is beyond the physical world. We learned that when you achieve conscious presence, you invite a sense of calm and peace into your life. This elevated awareness can help you navigate even the most challenging work environments with grace and poise. Instead of reacting to stress, you respond with mindfulness and clarity. Your interactions become more thoughtful, and your decisions are made with greater wisdom. Here’s How to Practice Conscious Presence Start by paying attention to your breathing. Notice each inhale and exhale. This simple act grounds you in the present moment. Take a moment to feel your heartbeat. This brings your awareness back to your physical existence and helps center your energy. Observe your environment without judgment. Notice the details – the colors, the sounds, the textures. This heightened awareness connects you more deeply to the present. Take a few moments each day to connect with your inner self. Reflect on your place in the Universe and the energy that flows through you. This can be a meditative practice or simply a moment of quiet contemplation. Practice elevating your awareness beyond your immediate surroundings. This might involve visualization or simply a shift in perspective, allowing you to see the bigger picture and your place within it. After you read this, we’d like you to take a moment to ask yourself: Are you consciously present? Are you willing to bring your full energy into the now, to rise above the noise and connect with a deeper sense of being? If you find yourself struggling with this practice, or if you’re navigating a particularly toxic work space and need support, don’t hesitate to reach out. We specialize in training and guiding professionals like you to find calm and clarity, especially those in toxic work spaces. Remember, achieving conscious presence is not just a practice – it’s a way of life that can impact your well-being and success.

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How We Help YOU Reclaim Your Confidence and Voice

mental health, professionals, toxicworkspaces, wellbeing, work /

Working in a toxic work space can do more than just make your days unpleasant. It can erode your confidence, silence your voice, and make you doubt your worth. The constant stress, negativity, and lack of support can make you feel small and powerless. But it doesn’t have to be this way. We’re here to help you reclaim your lost sense of self. At Toxic Work Spaces, we understand the impact a toxic work space can have on your mental and emotional well-being. That’s why we’ve developed a comprehensive 10-session program to support you on this journey:  Discovery Session: We start with an initial discovery session to understand your unique situation, identify the specific challenges you’re facing, and set personalized goals for your journey. The Eight Core Sessions: Active Listening Session: In this session, you get to learn the power of active listening, both to others and to yourself, to improve communication and understand your needs. Identifying Negative Beliefs Session: We work with you to uncover and challenge the negative beliefs that have taken root, and begin the process of reshaping them. Rebuilding Self-Esteem Session: In this session, you get to rediscover your strengths, celebrate your achievements, and rebuild your self-esteem through guided exercises and reflection. Assertive Communication Session: In this session, we introduce you to main tools and techniques to assert yourself confidently, set boundaries, and express your needs and opinions clearly. Stress Management Session: After the end of this session, you get to develop strategies to manage stress and anxiety, fostering a healthier mindset even in toxic work spaces. Exploring Options Session: During this session, we assist you in exploring your options and developing a strategic exit plan, whether it’s finding a new job, pursuing further education, or starting a new venture or building your personal brand. Professional Track Guidance Session: In this session, you receive tailored advice and resources to help you navigate your professional path and achieve your career goals. Counseling Session: When you sign up for this 10-session package, you get to benefit from a dedicated counseling session focused on your mental and emotional well-being, ensuring you have the support you need. Post Follow-Up Session: After completing the core 10 sessions, we offer a follow-up session to review your progress, address any ongoing challenges, and adjust your plan as needed. Ongoing Support Strategy: We offer continuous support through our workshops, webinars, and peer support groups. Connect with other professionals who understand what you’re going through and gain strength from a community committed to positive change. Your journey to reclaiming your confidence and voice starts here with us. With our support, you can rediscover your true self and move towards a future where you feel valued and empowered. Reach out to us today and let’s start this transformative journey together admin@toxicworkspaces.com

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Discover Different Forms of Blue Mind

mental health, professionals, unplugged, wellbeing /

Today, professionals are increasingly finding themselves caught in a state we call ‘red mind’ – a frazzled, anxious, and over-stimulated condition that has sadly become the new normal. This state of constant connectivity and stress is not just detrimental to our productivity, but it takes a serious toll on our overall well-being. At Toxic Work Spaces, we understand the pressures of the modern workplace, especially those that come from toxic work spaces. That’s why we’ve developed a program called Unplug, designed specifically to help professionals unplug and rest. The inspiration behind Unplug comes from a powerful concept known as Blue Mind, which highlights the extraordinary benefits of being near, in, on, or under water. What is Blue Mind? Blue Mind is a term coined by marine biologist Wallace J. Nichols, referring to the meditative state that water induces in us. It’s the sense of calm, peace, unity, and a general happiness we feel around water. The concept advocates for the power of water to heal and restore balance in our lives, countering the effects of the relentless ‘red mind.’ While most of us are aware that stepping away from our work and digital devices can be beneficial, we might not fully appreciate that being near water is considered the ultimate form of nature therapy. Water’s therapeutic effects can significantly enhance our mental health, creativity, and overall well-being. The Benefits of Blue Mind Research has shown that being near water can: Lower stress and anxiety Enhance feelings of happiness and calm Improve focus and creativity Promote better sleep Foster a deeper connection to nature and to ourselves Introducing different Forms of Blue Mind in 23 Minutes a Day We believe that everyone can experience the benefits of Blue Mind, even with a busy schedule. Here are seven simple ways professionals can incorporate Blue Mind into their daily lives, with just 23 minutes a day: Wild Blue Mind: This can involve sitting near a pond, river, or even a fountain. The sound of water can set a peaceful tone for your day . Domestic Blue Mind: This can include: pools, tubs, showers, sprinklers, cold plunges and even your sink Virtual Water Meditation: Use a nature sounds app or YouTube videos of water scenes for a quick mental escape during the day. Evening Bath: End your day with a relaxing bath. The warm water can ease tension and prepare you for a good night’s sleep. Weekend Beach Trips: Plan short trips to the nearest beach, river, or lake. The change of scenery and water activities can be incredibly rejuvenating. Hydration Breaks: Take regular breaks to drink water. Hydration is crucial for maintaining focus and energy, and it also gives you a moment to step away from work. It makes perfect sense that a daily Blue Mind practice would work wonders. Once it becomes a habit, it’s second nature. It’s our home. It’s our refuge and sanctuary from an increasingly red-minded world.  Our Unplug program is designed to guide professionals in finding these moments of Blue Mind in their daily routines. We offer practical tips, guided meditations, retreats and community support to help you make water a healing part of your life. We invite you to join us in this journey towards better well-being. Let’s unplug, step away from the red mind, and immerse ourselves in the calming embrace of the Blue Mind. Because sometimes, the best way to navigate the turbulent waters of the workplace is to find serenity in the waters themselves. Embrace Blue Mind with us and discover how 23 minutes a day can transform your life.   

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Life In & After Leaving A Toxic Work Space Course

Leadership, mental health, professionals, toxicworkplace, toxicworkspaces, wellbeing, work /

The events caused by a Toxic Work Space contradict your understanding of how things at work are “supposed” to be. They end up disrupting your sense of self and how you view others. They disrupt your understanding of safety and condition you to believe you have no control over your life.  When any of the named experiences is triggered by another person, it ends up undermining a basic sense of trust in others; it makes intimacy challenging and eventually disrupts your own sense of self-worth and self-esteem.  This course is designed to help you cope in your present life right now if you are in a toxic work space and after leaving. I do not ask you to think about the experiences or get into the deep details. However, some of the exercises in this masterclass may trigger powerful and unpleasant memories and can leave you feeling overwhelmed.  One of the first tasks of this course is to teach you how to feel safe. This course is based on ideas developed by Shi Kang’ethe-the founder. It is as a result of a Toxic Work Spaces experience, research, and working extensively with toxic work spaces survivors. From experience, a toxic work space undermines the following basic needs: Safety Trust Control Value Closeness When these basic needs are met, we have a psychological cushion that helps us when stuff like stress happens. After you leave a toxic work space, the cushion feels like it’s gone and that leaves you feeling overwhelmed and with unhealthy coping mechanisms. This course is designed to help you cope in your present life right now if you are in a toxic work space and after leaving. We do not ask you to think about the experiences or get into the deep details. However, some of the exercises in this course may trigger powerful and unpleasant memories and can leave you feeling overwhelmed.  One of the first tasks of this course is to teach you how to feel safe. HOW THIS COURSE IS DESIGNED The long-term purpose of this course is to help you as a professional unpack your experiences at work, especially if it is a toxic work space and recover a sense of psychological safety, trust, self-esteem and connection-which may have been disrupted by experiences in a toxic work space.  The first three sessions of the masterclass give you essential information and skills you’ll need for all the sessions. The first three sessions are important because: You will understand that you were not at fault for what happened to you, even though you might even feel crazy You will unlearn, learn, and re-learn about different coping mechanisms and self-care strategies You will acquire the knowledge that will help you to do individual reflection on your thoughts, feelings, and reactions. It’s common for people who have left a toxic work space to feel crazy and this is not the feelings you had before you went through a toxic work space. Recognizing how your new and temporary thoughts, feelings or behaviors result from the experience can help you find your way back. In Session 1, Life After Leaving A Toxic Work Space, I take you through the experience that is a normal reaction. You will learn that your reactions are not uncommon for people who have been through a Toxic Work Experience. Session 2 takes you through ways of coping after leaving a Toxic Work Space. Shi help you do a SWOT analysis and visualize your coping mechanisms. In Session 3, you get to think things through, and explain how you can make sense of how your reactions changed. Sessions 4 through 8, are sessions that Shi will help you think through each of the five needs-trust, safety, control, self-esteem, and connection. In each of the sessions, Shi will prompt you to think about the meaning of the five needs. For example; What do we need to feel psychologically safe? What will it mean to trust again? (at a new job) Do I have control? Did I lose it? How can I take it back? What do we need when we need connection? The basic framework of this course has two main parts. The first is “How to think things through” and the second is “Weighing the Experience”. We have broken them down into forms and exercises to guide your thinking through each step. We designed this course because we believe that most of us need to heal from what we experienced after leaving a Toxic Work Space.  We also believe in healing and the work this course  invites you to do may be emotionally and mentally heavy so, we will constantly remind you to take breaks after some sessions, take care of yourself, rest and recharge before we proceed. If you’d like to take the course, get in touch with me….  

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Here’s how I assist leaders in managing toxic work spaces

Leadership, professionals, toxicworkplace, toxicworkspaces, wellbeing, work /

As the founder of Toxic Work Spaces, I’ve had the privilege of working directly with leaders to help them manage toxic work spaces and this blog post is a case study that highlights how I work with leaders to help them manage their work spaces, if they are in a couple of sessions. If you’d like a deep dive into the sessions with leaders on how they can manage toxic work spaces, find the breakdown below: Session 1: Understanding the Dynamics Our journey began with a deep dive into the dynamics of the workplace. Through candid discussions and interactive exercises, we explore the root causes of toxicity, from poor communication and lack of trust to unhealthy power dynamics and unchecked stress levels. By shedding light on these underlying issues, leaders gain a newfound awareness of the impact their actions and decisions have on the overall health of the organization. It is always a pivotal moment of realization that set the stage for meaningful change. Session 2: Building Empathetic Leadership Skills With a solid understanding of the challenges at hand, our next focus is on how to develop empathetic leadership skills. Through role-playing scenarios and real-world case studies, leaders learn how to cultivate trust, foster open communication, and address conflict in a constructive manner. One key expected takeaway from this session is the importance of active listening and empathy in building strong, cohesive teams. By putting themselves in their employees’ shoes, leaders can be able to gain invaluable insights into their needs, concerns, and aspirations. Session 3: Implementing Sustainable Solutions Equipped with newfound knowledge and skills, leaders are ready to take action. In our final session, we work together to develop and implement sustainable solutions to address the toxic dynamics in their work spaces. From establishing clear communication channels and setting boundaries to promoting a culture of accountability and resilience, leaders embrace a holistic approach to creating positive change. It is inspiring to see their commitment to fostering healthier, more inclusive work environments for their teams. As a leader, you learn that in just 3 short sessions with a 5 months follow-up plan, we witness a remarkable transformation unfolding. What begins as a group of leaders grappling with the complexities of toxic work spaces evolves into a cohesive team committed to driving positive change. Through introspection, education, and collaboration, these leaders not only learn how to manage their toxic work spaces but also how to cultivate environments where every individual can thrive. It’s a testament to the power of effective leadership in shaping the future of work—and a reminder that with dedication and determination, anything is possible. As we continue our mission at Toxic Work Spaces, we’re excited to see more leaders embrace this journey of transformation and create workplaces where everyone feels valued, respected, and empowered to succeed.

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