wellbeing

Why So Many Professionals Don’t Realize They’re in Toxic Work Spaces

Despite the growing conversations around workplace wellness, many professionals still don’t realize they’re operating in survival mode. Toxicity in the workplace isn’t always loud or obvious. More often, it’s slick, cumulative, and internalized. It’s the kind that wears you down slowly through unrealistic expectations, ignored boundaries, exclusion, or the daily pressure to perform with no room to pause or question. Over time, we start to call it normal. We cope instead of challenge. We internalize what’s broken as a personal failure instead of recognizing it as a systemic issue. As the founder of Toxic Work Spaces, I’ve spent over six years working to name and unpack harmful work culture. But recently, I wanted to go deeper. I initiated one-on-one conversations with nearly ten leaders across different sectors, tech, healthcare, education, and nonprofit, to understand how toxicity is truly showing up in workplaces today. I found that regardless of industry, team size, or mission, the same underlying patterns were there. It  was clear that people were exposed to toxic work spaces in ways they couldn’t always see, name, or escape. These conversations led me to create a new framework I call Toxicity Exposure Mapping. Toxicity Exposure Mapping helps professionals and organizations understand the often invisible, layered ways in which toxicity shows up and how it affects people mentally, emotionally, and even physically. From this brief research, I identified four major exposure zones that many people unknowingly operate within. The first group I call The Silent Normalizers. These are professionals who’ve become so accustomed to dysfunctional systems like excessive workloads, unending meetings, or toxic praise for burnout—that they no longer question it. They say things like, “That’s just how this industry is,” without realizing how much it’s costing them in health and well-being. Then there are The Invisible Strugglers, individuals who are deeply affected by subtle forms of toxicity such as gaslighting, exclusion, or poor leadership, but can’t quite put their finger on what’s wrong. They internalize the pain, believing they are the problem, which only adds to the damage. Another group, The Boundary Burnouts, are often high performers whose time and emotional labor are constantly stretched. They’re the ones always picking up the slack, staying late, or managing toxic team dynamics without recognition or support. Over time, they begin to break down, but often stay because their role is tied to their identity. Lastly, there are The Well-being Disconnected teams or organizations that outwardly promote wellness (through perks like meditation apps or “wellness days”) but fail to address the structural issues that make those initiatives ineffective. These are the places where people are told to take care of themselves, while no one is addressing the reasons they’re burning out. The key takeaway from this work is that awareness is not enough and naming these experiences gives power back to the people living through them. When we understand how we’re being affected, we can start to set boundaries, seek support, or initiate change. But we also need to stop placing the full burden on individuals to “be more resilient.” Healing requires systemic shifts. Organizations must be willing to examine and redesign the very structures that allow toxic patterns to thrive. If you recognize yourself in any of these descriptions, you’re not alone and you’re not imagining it. Whether you’re quietly struggling or have been pushing through for years, you deserve to work in an environment that supports your well-being, not undermines it. That’s why I’m continuing to build tools like the Toxicity Exposure Checklist and HR Maturity Assessment to help both individuals and organizations take informed action. I believe we can move beyond survival. But it starts by naming the problem, mapping the exposure, and demanding better. If you’d like access to these tools or to explore what this could look like in your workplace, I’d love to hear from you. Email me at shi@toxicworkspaces.com  

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How Community Helps Heal the Wounds of Toxic Work Spaces

Toxic work spaces don’t just affect your nine-to-five. They seep into the cracks of your life, often leaving you feeling like a shadow of the person you once were. The stress, manipulation, and disregard for your humanity can rob you of your confidence, sense of purpose, and connection to others. It’s no wonder that many professionals find themselves withdrawing not only from colleagues but from loved ones, passions, and, ultimately, themselves. When you’re constantly navigating a space where you’re undervalued, micromanaged, or outright disrespected, survival becomes the focus. Your nervous system is on high alert, and every interaction feels like a potential landmine. Over time, you might lose sight of who you are outside of the toxic work space. You begin to question your worth, doubt your abilities, and retreat inward, carrying the weight of experiences you might not even fully understand. This withdrawal is both a defense mechanism and a prison. It’s natural to protect yourself from harm, but in doing so, you often cut yourself off from the very things that could help you heal: connection, understanding, and community. The irony is that while toxic work spaces disconnect you from others, the path to reclaiming yourself lies in the exact opposite direction through connection and community. At Toxic Work Spaces, we’ve built a community that serves as a “third place”—a safe haven outside of work and home where professionals can gather, reflect, and rebuild. It’s a space where you’re not just a title or a job description. Here, you’re seen for the person you are, not the role you play in someone else’s agenda. In our community, we unpack what it means to survive—and thrive—after toxic work experiences. Together, we: Share stories and make sense of what we’ve been through, realizing we’re not alone in our struggles. Challenge the narratives that toxic work spaces instilled in us, reclaiming our confidence and self-worth. Work collectively toward healing and thriving, guided by the belief that no one should navigate this journey alone. Reclaiming your life after a toxic work space isn’t about “bouncing back” or pretending everything is fine. It’s about acknowledging the harm, unpacking the experiences, and taking deliberate steps toward becoming the version of yourself that feels whole again. This journey takes courage, but it doesn’t have to be done alone. Community offers the accountability, empathy, and collective strength needed to move forward. It’s where professionals like you come to realize that your value isn’t tied to your productivity or how much you can endure it’s intrinsic and worth honoring. Our community isn’t just a support group; it’s a movement. It’s a place to not only heal but to grow, thrive, and dare greatly again. If you’ve been feeling the weight of a toxic work space, know that you don’t have to carry it alone.  If you are in a toxic work space and you feel like you’d like it’s the year you get to reclaim yourself, I invite you to join our community today and step into a space where your voice matters, your experiences are valid, and your future is full of possibility.  

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Why We Struggle to Talk About Toxic Work Spaces

There are moments in our professional lives when the words fail us. We want to speak, to unburden ourselves, but there’s a lump in our throat, holding us back. At times, we can’t talk about it, not because we don’t want to, but because we don’t know how to. The toxic experience at work feels like an invisible shadow — a burden we carry that leaves us drained, silenced, and unseen. How can we explain something so painful, something that feels like it’s entwined with who we’ve become? Surviving a toxic work space isn’t just about living through the day-to-day stress, the endless emotional weight of each interaction. It’s about the trauma we walk away with when we finally leave. Toxic work spaces aren’t just about uncomfortable environments — they are environments where emotional and mental harm is inflicted daily. But here’s the challenge: to heal, we need to talk about it. We need to give voice to what we’ve experienced, to unpack the distress and untangle our emotions. Yet, talking about it means revisiting it. It means reliving moments we’ve worked so hard to forget. When we open our mouths to share our stories, that shadow — once dormant — rises again, threatening to overwhelm us. Suddenly, we are thrust back into the boardroom where we were belittled, or sitting at the desk where our self-worth was eroded one deadline at a time. But here’s the truth: silence does not protect us. The more we silence our experiences, the more power we give the toxic environments that caused the harm in the first place. At Toxic Work Spaces, we understand how heavy these conversations can feel. But we also know that the only way forward is to confront the shadows. We’re here to give you the tools, the community, and the safe space to start those conversations. By sharing your story, you not only reclaim your voice but also become part of a larger movement — one that is committed to breaking the cycle of toxic workplaces across Africa.

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The Emotional and Physical Toll of a Toxic Work Space

It’s easy to dismiss the growing conversation around toxic work spaces as mere buzz. Yet, the truth is, toxic work spaces are a serious issue with emotional and physical consequences. From daily stressors to continuous instances of bullying and harassment, the effects of toxicity at work can ripple out, affecting not only your career but your overall well-being. A toxic work space is more than just an unpleasant environment. It’s a space where negativity, dysfunction, and unhealthy behaviors dominate. These can manifest in various ways, including poor communication, lack of support, unrealistic expectations, micromanagement, favoritism, and even workplace bullying. Over time, these negative dynamics can create an environment where employees feel undervalued, unsupported, and ultimately, burnt out. One of the most immediate impacts of a toxic work space is on mental health. The constant stress and tension can lead to a variety of psychological issues, including: Consistent exposure to a toxic work space keeps your body in a heightened state of stress, triggering the “fight or flight” response. This chronic stress can lead to anxiety, irritability, and even depression. Burnout is more than just feeling tired or overworked. It’s a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. In a toxic work space, burnout can creep in quickly, leaving you feeling drained, cynical, and detached from your work. The unpredictability and instability of a toxic work space can lead to constant worry and anxiety. You may find yourself second-guessing your every move, feeling like you’re walking on eggshells, or experiencing panic attacks. Over time, the negative reinforcement and lack of appreciation common in toxic work spaces can erode your self-esteem. You may begin to doubt your abilities, question your worth, and feel powerless to improve your situation. While the psychological effects are significant, the physical toll of a toxic work space is just as concerning. Your body responds to stress in a variety of ways, many of which can lead to long-term health issues if left unaddressed: Stress and anxiety from a toxic work space can wreak havoc on your sleep. You might struggle with insomnia, restless sleep, or nightmares, all of which can lead to chronic fatigue and decreased cognitive function. The tension and stress of working in a toxic work space can manifest physically in the form of headaches or migraines. These can become more frequent and severe, affecting your ability to focus and perform daily tasks. Chronic stress suppresses your immune system, making you more susceptible to illnesses. Frequent colds, flu, or other infections could be a sign that your work environment is affecting your health. Long-term exposure to stress increases the risk of high blood pressure, heart disease, and other cardiovascular issues. The constant state of anxiety and tension in a toxic work space can be a significant contributor to these conditions. Stress can also affect your digestive system, leading to issues such as stomach pain, nausea, or irritable bowel syndrome (IBS). The gut-brain connection is strong, and emotional stress often manifests in physical symptoms. If you’re experiencing the emotional and physical toll of a toxic work space, it’s important to recognize that you’re not alone and that there are steps you can take to protect your well-being: The first step is recognizing that you’re in a toxic work space. Denial or minimizing the issue won’t help in the long run. Whether it’s from a trusted colleague, a mentor, or a professional counselor, talking about your experiences can provide relief and perspective. Support networks can also offer advice on how to navigate your situation. Prioritize activities that help you relax and recharge. This might include exercise, meditation, hobbies, or spending time with loved ones. Self-care is crucial for maintaining your mental and physical health in the face of a toxic work space. Learn to say no to unreasonable demands and set clear boundaries between work and personal time. Protecting your time and energy is essential for preventing burnout. If the toxic work space shows no signs of improvement, it might be time to explore other career opportunities. Your health and well-being are more important than any job. The emotional and physical toll of a toxic work space is real and can have lasting effects on your life. It’s essential to be aware of these impacts and take proactive steps to protect yourself. At Toxic Work Spaces, we’re committed to raising awareness and providing the support you need to navigate and thrive despite these challenges. Remember, Your Well-Being Matters.  

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How A Toxic Work Space Takes Your Front Brain OFFLINE

When you’re trapped in a toxic work space, it’s as if your front brain—the part responsible for rational thinking, planning, and strategizing—switches off. In its place, the back brain, designed to respond to danger, takes over, pushing you into survival mode. This shift is a natural response to the trauma of enduring a toxic space, but it also complicates the healing process. At Toxic Work Spaces, we recognize that healing from a toxic work space is not a straightforward journey. The trauma inflicted by such spaces is meant to be difficult to overcome because it rewires your brain to adapt to life-threatening powerlessness. It’s not because you’re weak, lazy, or mentally ill that healing is slow; it’s because trauma, by its very nature, is designed to protect you in the short term but can hold you back in the long run. When your brain is exposed to toxicity, in this case at work, our back brain—focused on survival—dominates. It reverts us to habits that prioritize safety and prepares us for the worst. This response is essential for immediate survival, but when it comes to recovery, it becomes a hindrance. To heal, we must re-engage our front brain, the part that’s been switched off by the overwhelming stress and danger. This is crucial because the front brain is the key to strategizing our way out of the external and internal barriers to recovery. Whether it’s figuring out how to afford therapy, if we can’t, or finding ways to elicit support from others, we need our front brain fully engaged. It’s the part of us that can see both visible and invisible options, learn from trial and error, and persistently stick to a plan despite setbacks. Healing from trauma, especially the kind inflicted by toxic work spaces, is not easy. It requires a complex brain—a brain that can think critically, assess risks, and remain resilient in the face of adversity. Our back brain, conditioned by the toxicity, may want to retreat into the familiar patterns of freezing and giving up. But to truly heal, we must push through this inertia, reawaken our front brain, and take back control. At Toxic Work Spaces, we are dedicated to helping professionals understand this process. Through our communities, like ‘Professionals Like Us’ and ‘Girls Like Us,’ we create spaces where individuals can share, heal, and grow. We build awareness and guide them in reconnecting with their front brain, empowering them to strategize their way out of toxicity and towards a healthier, more fulfilling career. Remember, healing is a journey that requires patience, support, and a re-engagement of the very part of your brain that’s been switched off. But with the right tools and community, it’s a journey you can get on successfully with support.

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What you can expect from our advisory sessions

The modern workplace seems to be fast-paced and it is also often unforgiving. As a professional, finding oneself in a toxic work space can be overwhelming and detrimental to both personal and professional well-being. At Toxic Work Spaces, we understand the unique challenges you face and as a result of that, we help professionals make sense of their workplace experiences and train those in toxic work spaces how they can navigate and thrive. Advisory sessions here at Toxic Work Spaces are designed to provide you with the support and guidance you need to overcome specific challenges and develop a clear plan of action. Whether you’re grappling with the decision to leave a toxic job or seeking strategies to cope and excel in your current role, our sessions are tailored to meet your needs. We ask professionals in a toxic work space to imagine having a dedicated, expert facilitator who guides you through a structured process, helping you identify your core issues, set realistic goals, and create actionable plans. A facilitated session by our founder will result in timely actions, clarity, responsibility, and accountability of delivery for a successful outcome. You will participate in a series of 8 sessions, each one diving deep into different aspects of toxic work space dynamics. These sessions will provide you with the opportunity to: Clarify the issues you face Turn your experiences into meaningful action Gain direction and focus Achieve a successful and fulfilling professional outcome We promise you that our comprehensive approach ensures that you leave each session with a clear understanding of your next steps and the confidence to execute them. If you are currently struggling with the challenges of a toxic work space and need support to find a solution and develop a plan of action, our advisory sessions can make a significant difference. Don’t hesitate to contact us to learn more about how our services can help you. If you are also unsure about your current situation and whether our advisory services are right for you? Book a discovery session with us today and let us help you determine if we are the right service to elevate you to the next professional level.

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How we help professionals make sense of their toxic work space experience

When a person endures a toxic work space, the experience can have a ripple effect on their mental and physical health throughout their professional lives. No matter when it occurred, the importance of making sense of the experience cannot be overstated. Yet, despite the serious consequences of a toxic work space, people often have an understandable tendency to want to block out or gloss over painful memories. Unfortunately, their efforts to bury their experience can sometimes increase the severity of their symptoms. Here at toxic work spaces, making sense of your toxic work space experience often involves taking a deep dive into one’s own story or experience. This process begins with a person acknowledging that they experienced a toxic work space. They can then start to make sense of and feel the full pain of their experience. We recommend working with one of our counsellors through this process as it can be extremely helpful, especially when the toxicity we have experienced were severe, and/or intense emotions from the past are aroused in the present. As a person moves through the steps of facing toxicity, here are the different sessions we recommend a professional to be a part of to help them create a coherent narrative and have feelings for themselves: Reflection Session. While it may feel scary, the first step to making sense of your story is reflecting on events that happened to you. This process can stir you up, but it can also help you connect the dots of your experience. Unpacking your past session as your mind may feel flooded or you might draw a blank. You may feel overwhelmed with emotion or disassociated from feeling. In this session, you’ll get to learn that any reaction you have is okay. While toxic work spaces can seem like a complex and daunting problem with no quick-fix, there are strategies for you to resolve old wounds and free yourself of much of the pain of your past, so it no longer has such a stronghold on you in the present. Facing toxic work spaces is a brave act, but when a person works to make sense of and feel the full pain of their experience, true healing can begin.  

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How We Help YOU Reclaim Your Confidence and Voice

Working in a toxic work space can do more than just make your days unpleasant. It can erode your confidence, silence your voice, and make you doubt your worth. The constant stress, negativity, and lack of support can make you feel small and powerless. But it doesn’t have to be this way. We’re here to help you reclaim your lost sense of self. At Toxic Work Spaces, we understand the impact a toxic work space can have on your mental and emotional well-being. That’s why we’ve developed a comprehensive 10-session program to support you on this journey:  Discovery Session: We start with an initial discovery session to understand your unique situation, identify the specific challenges you’re facing, and set personalized goals for your journey. The Eight Core Sessions: Active Listening Session: In this session, you get to learn the power of active listening, both to others and to yourself, to improve communication and understand your needs. Identifying Negative Beliefs Session: We work with you to uncover and challenge the negative beliefs that have taken root, and begin the process of reshaping them. Rebuilding Self-Esteem Session: In this session, you get to rediscover your strengths, celebrate your achievements, and rebuild your self-esteem through guided exercises and reflection. Assertive Communication Session: In this session, we introduce you to main tools and techniques to assert yourself confidently, set boundaries, and express your needs and opinions clearly. Stress Management Session: After the end of this session, you get to develop strategies to manage stress and anxiety, fostering a healthier mindset even in toxic work spaces. Exploring Options Session: During this session, we assist you in exploring your options and developing a strategic exit plan, whether it’s finding a new job, pursuing further education, or starting a new venture or building your personal brand. Professional Track Guidance Session: In this session, you receive tailored advice and resources to help you navigate your professional path and achieve your career goals. Counseling Session: When you sign up for this 10-session package, you get to benefit from a dedicated counseling session focused on your mental and emotional well-being, ensuring you have the support you need. Post Follow-Up Session: After completing the core 10 sessions, we offer a follow-up session to review your progress, address any ongoing challenges, and adjust your plan as needed. Ongoing Support Strategy: We offer continuous support through our workshops, webinars, and peer support groups. Connect with other professionals who understand what you’re going through and gain strength from a community committed to positive change. Your journey to reclaiming your confidence and voice starts here with us. With our support, you can rediscover your true self and move towards a future where you feel valued and empowered. Reach out to us today and let’s start this transformative journey together admin@toxicworkspaces.com

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Discover Different Forms of Blue Mind

Today, professionals are increasingly finding themselves caught in a state we call ‘red mind’ – a frazzled, anxious, and over-stimulated condition that has sadly become the new normal. This state of constant connectivity and stress is not just detrimental to our productivity, but it takes a serious toll on our overall well-being. At Toxic Work Spaces, we understand the pressures of the modern workplace, especially those that come from toxic work spaces. That’s why we’ve developed a program called Unplug, designed specifically to help professionals unplug and rest. The inspiration behind Unplug comes from a powerful concept known as Blue Mind, which highlights the extraordinary benefits of being near, in, on, or under water. What is Blue Mind? Blue Mind is a term coined by marine biologist Wallace J. Nichols, referring to the meditative state that water induces in us. It’s the sense of calm, peace, unity, and a general happiness we feel around water. The concept advocates for the power of water to heal and restore balance in our lives, countering the effects of the relentless ‘red mind.’ While most of us are aware that stepping away from our work and digital devices can be beneficial, we might not fully appreciate that being near water is considered the ultimate form of nature therapy. Water’s therapeutic effects can significantly enhance our mental health, creativity, and overall well-being. The Benefits of Blue Mind Research has shown that being near water can: Lower stress and anxiety Enhance feelings of happiness and calm Improve focus and creativity Promote better sleep Foster a deeper connection to nature and to ourselves Introducing different Forms of Blue Mind in 23 Minutes a Day We believe that everyone can experience the benefits of Blue Mind, even with a busy schedule. Here are seven simple ways professionals can incorporate Blue Mind into their daily lives, with just 23 minutes a day: Wild Blue Mind: This can involve sitting near a pond, river, or even a fountain. The sound of water can set a peaceful tone for your day . Domestic Blue Mind: This can include: pools, tubs, showers, sprinklers, cold plunges and even your sink Virtual Water Meditation: Use a nature sounds app or YouTube videos of water scenes for a quick mental escape during the day. Evening Bath: End your day with a relaxing bath. The warm water can ease tension and prepare you for a good night’s sleep. Weekend Beach Trips: Plan short trips to the nearest beach, river, or lake. The change of scenery and water activities can be incredibly rejuvenating. Hydration Breaks: Take regular breaks to drink water. Hydration is crucial for maintaining focus and energy, and it also gives you a moment to step away from work. It makes perfect sense that a daily Blue Mind practice would work wonders. Once it becomes a habit, it’s second nature. It’s our home. It’s our refuge and sanctuary from an increasingly red-minded world.  Our Unplug program is designed to guide professionals in finding these moments of Blue Mind in their daily routines. We offer practical tips, guided meditations, retreats and community support to help you make water a healing part of your life. We invite you to join us in this journey towards better well-being. Let’s unplug, step away from the red mind, and immerse ourselves in the calming embrace of the Blue Mind. Because sometimes, the best way to navigate the turbulent waters of the workplace is to find serenity in the waters themselves. Embrace Blue Mind with us and discover how 23 minutes a day can transform your life.   

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Life In & After Leaving A Toxic Work Space Course

The events caused by a Toxic Work Space contradict your understanding of how things at work are “supposed” to be. They end up disrupting your sense of self and how you view others. They disrupt your understanding of safety and condition you to believe you have no control over your life.  When any of the named experiences is triggered by another person, it ends up undermining a basic sense of trust in others; it makes intimacy challenging and eventually disrupts your own sense of self-worth and self-esteem.  This course is designed to help you cope in your present life right now if you are in a toxic work space and after leaving. I do not ask you to think about the experiences or get into the deep details. However, some of the exercises in this masterclass may trigger powerful and unpleasant memories and can leave you feeling overwhelmed.  One of the first tasks of this course is to teach you how to feel safe. This course is based on ideas developed by Shi Kang’ethe-the founder. It is as a result of a Toxic Work Spaces experience, research, and working extensively with toxic work spaces survivors. From experience, a toxic work space undermines the following basic needs: Safety Trust Control Value Closeness When these basic needs are met, we have a psychological cushion that helps us when stuff like stress happens. After you leave a toxic work space, the cushion feels like it’s gone and that leaves you feeling overwhelmed and with unhealthy coping mechanisms. This course is designed to help you cope in your present life right now if you are in a toxic work space and after leaving. We do not ask you to think about the experiences or get into the deep details. However, some of the exercises in this course may trigger powerful and unpleasant memories and can leave you feeling overwhelmed.  One of the first tasks of this course is to teach you how to feel safe. HOW THIS COURSE IS DESIGNED The long-term purpose of this course is to help you as a professional unpack your experiences at work, especially if it is a toxic work space and recover a sense of psychological safety, trust, self-esteem and connection-which may have been disrupted by experiences in a toxic work space.  The first three sessions of the masterclass give you essential information and skills you’ll need for all the sessions. The first three sessions are important because: You will understand that you were not at fault for what happened to you, even though you might even feel crazy You will unlearn, learn, and re-learn about different coping mechanisms and self-care strategies You will acquire the knowledge that will help you to do individual reflection on your thoughts, feelings, and reactions. It’s common for people who have left a toxic work space to feel crazy and this is not the feelings you had before you went through a toxic work space. Recognizing how your new and temporary thoughts, feelings or behaviors result from the experience can help you find your way back. In Session 1, Life After Leaving A Toxic Work Space, I take you through the experience that is a normal reaction. You will learn that your reactions are not uncommon for people who have been through a Toxic Work Experience. Session 2 takes you through ways of coping after leaving a Toxic Work Space. Shi help you do a SWOT analysis and visualize your coping mechanisms. In Session 3, you get to think things through, and explain how you can make sense of how your reactions changed. Sessions 4 through 8, are sessions that Shi will help you think through each of the five needs-trust, safety, control, self-esteem, and connection. In each of the sessions, Shi will prompt you to think about the meaning of the five needs. For example; What do we need to feel psychologically safe? What will it mean to trust again? (at a new job) Do I have control? Did I lose it? How can I take it back? What do we need when we need connection? The basic framework of this course has two main parts. The first is “How to think things through” and the second is “Weighing the Experience”. We have broken them down into forms and exercises to guide your thinking through each step. We designed this course because we believe that most of us need to heal from what we experienced after leaving a Toxic Work Space.  We also believe in healing and the work this course  invites you to do may be emotionally and mentally heavy so, we will constantly remind you to take breaks after some sessions, take care of yourself, rest and recharge before we proceed. If you’d like to take the course, get in touch with me….  

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